intempestanox

So, I came here with every intention of posting an update on my life, but instead, I'm in the downswing of the constant up/down pattern I've been in recently.

Monday marks the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa's death.

I don't know how to feel or what to feel, or anything, and I find myself bouncing...well...up and down. Blech. Hates it.

Mama says they're planning a memoriam (memorial...?) For him and the family is going to get together. Great. Just fan-fuckin'-tastic. Something else I'm going to miss. I'm worried about mama and about grandma. And...that's about all I've got in me right now. Off to load the dishwasher, soak in the tub, and go to bed. Night all.

...the sheer AWESOMENESS of the Tiffy!!!!!!

My photography skills don't do much better but look!! LOOOOOOK!!!! Lookit what she made me!!!!! Isn't she awesome and talented and wonderful!?!? Isn't she!?!?!




I'm a happy Jenn! I have pretty new costume, fun new game, wonderful smelling new tea to try after dinner, and BOOOOOOKS!!! I have stuff to read on the bus to and from work now! (Well, for the next day or two at least.) It looks fabulous, and I now know a published author!! Go me!!!!

So, 2010 has been fairly ok so far, thus leaving me very, very cautiously optimistic it may not suck too badly. (Knock on wood!!) New Year’s Eve, I went out with my cousin Tina, we went to a local bar and grill called Mulligan’s to ring in the new year. Well, sort of. She promised her hubby to ring in the new year with him, so we really were only going to hang out until 11 or so. Either way, it was a fun time. The theme this New Year’s Eve was 80’s night, so our waitress was dressed up like Cyndi Lauper, and a waiter dressed up like Axel Rose stopped by our table to flirt. He claimed us both as his girlfriends. Tina told him she couldn’t wait to see how fast he ran when he found out she had 3 kids. And a husband. He told her she was in luck he had a 3 kid minimum, and not to worry, he could act gay with the best of them when her husband was around. I started feeling a bit left out after that, seeing as how I didn’t have 3 kids.

The night at Mulligan’s was cut a little short when a creepy girl wandered in. she set off alarm bells for the both of us, as she wandered around with her beanie pulled down completely over her face, and proceeded to try and dance like that, and then shoot pool. She damn near took off both our heads with the pool cue, and almost put another woman’s eye out. So, we decided to finish our drinks and head home, where we played Mario Kart on the Wii. Side note: I forgot how much alcohol was in a hurricane, and Mulligan’s makes them VERY large. It’s a bad idea for me to play Mario Kart after consuming said beverages. My coordination isn’t great on the best of days, and after a hurricane or two, I fell in the water, I fell in the lava, I went in reverse… It wasn’t a pretty sight, though it was hilarious at the time.

I spent New Year’s Day packing up and boxing up my Christmas presents. I got way way WAY more stuff than I thought and it was really difficult to find boxes to accommodate the size of some of the things. Oh, that’s right! Belated loot tally!

5 multiopen picture frames
quilt set
two necklaces & a pair of earrings
bath set in country lilac scent
$10 Bath and Body Works gift card
3 DVDs (Hellboy, Hellboy II & Edward Scissorhands)
Handheld sudoku game
Carbon steel wok
Calphalon baking sheets (to replace what I lost when I accidentally set my bacon and oven on fire)
Potato cutter
6 piece epicura pinch bowl set
silicone dough scraper/cutter tool
2 Ed Hardy glasses
2 Pot holder & oven mitt sets
Pair of shoes
Pinstripe fedora-ish hat that matches a top my mom saw me in once
Two books by authors I've never read before, but am assured are awesome
Set of 4 Coca-cola glasses a teacup and electric warmer
Family pictures from my favorite cousin, Tina! (pics of her, her hubby and her 3 beautiful kids!)

I just...I'm still kind of in shock over here. Really, really wasn't expecting much, because it's been a lean year all around, and yeah...

Anyways, the downside was I had to figure out how to get it all back to Houston, and the picture frames especially posed a challenge because of their sizes. Still, I managed to get it all into 5 boxes, and hauled them to the post office on Saturday. Holy crap, between the postage, and delivery confirmation, it was almost $70!! There went most of my money. I should, in theory, have enough to buy groceries when I get back to Houston, but that’s about it. And my postman back in Houston is no doubt going to LOVE me, when he delivers all the boxes, plus the held mail for the last 2 weeks. I should bake him cookies. And on the other hand, it’ll be like getting presents all over again when the boxes get to Houston. Squee!

Saturday was my last day in El Paso, Xander came and picked me up around 2, and we drove out to Socorro, NM, where I’ll be spending the next few days visiting with Annas!! (And Xander, too!) Anna had to work the night audit last night, though, so we just went out to dinner, then came home and watched TV for a bit. Xander worked on my laptop for me after Anna went to work, and we watched a lot of Simpsons episodes before going to bed. I had a little bit of trouble sleeping, so I was up rather late before finally crashing, mostly I just listened to my mp3 player, and all was well, because I dozed off to the music. Now, I’m just sitting here, surfing the interwebz until Anna wakes up and gives me the tour of Socorro.

And that’s about all I’ve got right now. Babbling shall cease now.

Love,
Me.

It's Christmas today. I don't have much money, so I told my mom that my present to the family would be to cook Christmas dinner for everyone who lived here. I spent the last 4 hours baking a honey and bourbon glazed ham, baked potatoes, fresh steamed broccoli with homemade cheese sauce and fresh bread from scratch. I told her what time I'd planned for dinner to be finished (Around 5:00)

My stepdad's children came to visit, and I don't mind, because hey, they're family, too! But they said they'd be there around 3:30-4:00, and instead showed up right before I finished dinner, and since none of them said they were hungry, the dinner I spent the last 4 hours making is sitting in the kitchen, getting cold. The bread is getting cold, and the cheese sauce is congealing. It's now 6 and mom and stepdad say they don't want to eat while we have company, even though stepdad's children are urging him to eat, saying they don't mind that we eat dinner while they don't.

Now, they're sitting out, planning what to play on the Wii while dinner gets colder still.

So...why did I bother? I told mom I didn't have money for presents, and instead chose to buy the ingredients to cook, as my "gift" to the family. And it just feels like they're letting that gift go to waste. Am I blowing things out of proportion? It's just what it feels like to me, and when I mentioned I might have to remake the cheese sauce, my sister jumped all over me, telling me to stop acting like a drama queen, and like everything was being ruined.

Sometimes, I hate the holidays. I really do. And now it's almost 6:30, and food's been sitting out, left to cool and congeal for almost 90 minutes, everyone is in the living room laughing and having fun, and I'm sitting in my bedroom, trying not to cry. Joy.

So, I flew home on Thursday, the 17th, for Christmas holidays. Mom and Mike picked me up from the airport, and brought me to the house. I unpacked, and then mom, sister and I ran around. I got to go shopping on the army base for the first time, even though I've technically had access since my mom married Mike. It's pretty wonderful. And no sales tax? Sweet! Friday, mom went to work, and I ran around with my sister, which ended up in a stupid blowout, because of course I'm evil, I'm horrible. I'm never going to change, and thus, she has every reason to hate me and yell at me and tell me I should never come home. Ever.

Yeah, I walked home from where we were rather than deal with her, which pissed her off even more and she called my cell phone screaming at me repeatedly telling me I had to get my ass back to the bus stop with her or else.

Yeah. Right.

Saturday and Sunday I cleaned house, and helped mom with baking. There is lots of holiday baking going on. Monday was more of the same. Mom and I went shopping for some ingredients, and came home and baked some more. 3 kinds of brownies, butterscotch bars, and blonde brownies. Tuesday, since the sister had to work all day, and mama had the day off, she and I went to the mall. Holy geez, it took us 20 minutes just to find a parking spot! We had fun though, and knocked the last 5 people off of mama's shopping list. I went to Torrid, and tried on a dress. I've dropped a dress size in Torrid sizing! Yay!

My quest for boots has been fruitless. Completely fruitless. I'm trying to think of all the stores I went to, but the list is so long. So, very long. And no boots for me. Stupid big fat feet. Sad. I think I'm meant to be bootless for the upcoming winter season.

we also finally put up the tree and decorated it on Tuesday. No one in my family has really been in the holiday spirit this year, so getting the motivation to do anything has been difficult.

Today, I got up early and did some more baking for mama. She always takes in a HUGE amount of baked goods, but between the odd hours she's been working and the aforementioned lack of motivation, she hasn't quite hit her quota of baked goods yet. So, I offered to help. Six hours in the kitchen! Six! And I ended up making mini dark chocolate fudge bundt cakes (which, once cooled, I'll make whipped cream and fill the cakes with whipped cream and cherries/strawberries). I also made double chocolate cookies, mocha chocolate cookies, white chocolate cookies, butterscotch spice cookies and snickerdoodles. All told, I baked 300 cookies today... In between baking I put together a batch of meatballs into the crockpot, so dinner will be ready when mama comes home from work tonight. She's got a late shift.

My sister came out and apparently is going to be baking more cookies/bars/cakes, too, since she and mama work in the same place. first thing she asked is if I'd help her bake. I told her I was tired and wanted to sit and eat something, since I'd yet to eat anything today. She gets sulky, saying she ONLY wants me to help mix cookie dough. I tell her I'm tired, and she gets snippy. Now, mind you I baked, I cooked, and I cleaned up the entire mess I'd made. and baking 300 cookies makes one HELL of a mess! I told her I wanted to sit down and of course that started another argument wherein she yelled at me about how useless and selfish I was, because I wasn't willing to help her.

Right then.

I ignored her and she eventually shut up.

My brother came over last night and is staying with us until Christmas day. Usually,I get along with my brother, but now he's turning into another version of my sister, and just a few minutes ago, we were talking about a TV show, one I like, and one he doesn't. He started getting super agitated and yelling about how much it sucked. I shrugged and said, hey, whatever, you hate it, I like it. To each their own, can we change the subject and stop trash talking a TV show? He gets pissed and storms out, saying this is why he never visits anymore, because all we do is argue.

*sigh* He and I never used to argue. I thought we got along fairly well. I mean, I'd expect this shit from my sister, the she-beast. Not my brother. So, now I'm sitting in my room, tired, and sore, and wondering once again why in the hell I bother coming home when all I get is attitude and being yelled at. Seriously? Why?

I know realistically it's because my mom wants to see me, and she needs the few weeks we get to spend together every year because it's just the way she is. And plus, I get to hang out with my favorite cousin, and my grandma, whom I miss dearly. In fact, I'm going out to dinner with my grandma tonight, yay!

I guess I'm in a funk. It doesn't help that I'm kinda emotional at the moment, because it's placebo week for me, and I'm getting depressed because Christmas is in two days and it's starting to really set in that grandpa isn't going to be here. We're going to go out to grandma's house and he won't be sitting in his recliner, watching the melee that is our family when we get together.

Ok, I think I'm done babbling. Time to shower off the sugary remnants left over from my baking.

Happy holidays to everyone, and I hope to post again soon, if I have time and I remember.

Love,
Me.

I'm going home in a couple of days. Normally, this excites me to an insane degree. I know things are going to be drastically different, though, and that's making it difficult enough.

Then, talking to mom earlier tonight, she told me that my grandma is planning on heading up to spend the holidays with the relatives that I seriously wish would just drop off the face of the planet. this is the aunt and uncle who came to funerals and started demanding stuff, or in the case of my uncle earlier this year, demanding his stuff before he was even dead. They're greedy, maggot infested, assholes from the 10th level of hell, and honestly if they were all to drop dead tomorrow, I'd probably feel nothing. But nope, they're making noises about how much they miss grandma, and other pity me bullshit that grandma, despite being an awesome woman, can never see through.

So, she's probably going to go spend Christmas with them. And the selfish little part of me is thinking, I already have to face a Christmas without grandpa, and now grandma's getting taken from me to.

I burst into tears. I can't explain it. I still feel weepy and depressed. I told my mom I love her. I really do. But after learning an aunt is leaving town, too, and won't be here for Christmas, followed by grandma maybe leaving, I just started crying, and wondering what's the point of coming home if some of the people I'm coming home FOR aren't going to be there?

I know, drama queen much? Like I said, I can't explain it. I hate it. I've been living with this stupid fear that I won't have any family left when I go to visit, especially after the crap year this has been, and it feels like I'm being proven right, as stupid as that sounds. And I know it sounds stupid, but can't help it. my brain's being stupid.

And this ends here, since I'm about to stop making sense. I'm probably due to start studying for finals again anyways.

I have working water again!! WHEEEE!!

I was so excited, I ran straight into the bathroom and flushed the toilet...

Yes, I'm that much of a dork. Carry on, nothing to see here, folks!










Aaaaaaaand back to studying for finals...

Bear with me folks, I'm going on very little sleep and am going to try and put this in some semblance of order and coherence.

For the last week and a half, there's been a debacle going on in my apartment. I noticed a stain on the ceiling that kept growing and getting black. Fearing mold, I called maintenance. Turns out a pipe started leaking. A lot. A hole was cut out of my ceiling and bucket placed underneath it until said pipe could be repaired. I was warned it would take a few days, to get the correct parts and whatnot. It was supposed to have been repaired on friday, the 4th. However, we had a "winter storm" in Houston (Read: 2 inches of snow freaking everyone out, making them think it's the apocalypse.) So, of COURSE no one could drive to get the parts.

Monday arrives, and it turns out the local part shop doesn't have it. So, it's going to take another day, and causing the maintenance crew to drive farther out to the shop many many miles away to get said parts. Parts are obtained Tuesday morning, work is commencing.

Complications are struck. Work paused.

finally, FINALLY, I'm told, "Ok, it WILL be done by Wednesday!"

I come home. No hole. No bucket! Rejoice!

I go to take a shower last night. Turn the water on to the dial I know is my favorite temp. Grab towels, strip down, hop in, turn around to wet my hair.

Boiling. Hot. Water!!

I yelp, turn around and try to adjust it down.

There is NO adjusting it! There are two temperatures: Boiling Hot and Molten Lava.. I shut off the shower, but the damage is done. I'm scalded/burned down my back. Breasts, belly, face, ears and right knee, too (since I first hopped in the shower on the right side). Not to mention upon sitting, I discovered other areas that got burned, and that would be the nether regions. I test all the taps in my apartment. I have no cold water. At ALL. That's when I realize the toilet is making funny noises. I try to flush it. The tank is empty because it can't refill. No cold water.

I took pics of the damage. I was bright red and in pain, and wrapped wet washcloths I tossed in the freezer for a few minutes, on my chest and back, and wrapped around my knee. It burned.

I called the emergency maintenance line. Supposedly, if it's considered a real emergency, they'll call me back. Yeah, never got a call back. Went to bed around 1-2 after giving up on waiting. Called back at 5:30 to place another, regular maintenance request.

I went and talked to the office manager today once the office opened, but didn't actually get to see her until 10:30-ish, as she was running late. My cheeks and ears are still rather bright pink, and she asked about it. Perfect segue. I asked if there was someplace semi-private to discuss things because it's kind of embarrassing to talk about. She thought I was going to say maintenance barged in this morning without knocking while I was naked or something.

I explained what was going on and showed her one picture, the one I took of my upper chest and face immediately after getting out of the shower.

The maintenance guy who fixed my pipes in my ceiling was in the office and got on him, demanding to know if he fubared my water. He said no. She said to get to my apartment NOW and fix it. And this is before I even finished telling her the entire story.

When I told her where else I was burned, she was appalled. She did ask about why I didn't stick a hand in to check the temp first, but when I told her about always knowing the point on the knob for favorite shower temp, she understood. I didn't show her the rest of the pics, and told her where else I got burned that did not get photographed. She's very sympathetic. I also took a pic of my meat thermometer under the running water, and discovered that it was 153 degrees. She didn't think the water got that hot from the taps here.

Either way, maintenance was at my place when I finished talking to her, and he tested all my taps, and sure enough. No cold. No ability to flush the toilet because of an empty tank. He left, and for a while after that, I heard him outside the building, banging on pipes and clanging around, so I'm assuming he's fixing things.

I was told if I did in fact have to go to the clinic, to let her know. She'd see if there's a form or some kind of voucher I can take in, so the fee bill gets charged to the apartment complex. She's going to call her supervisor to check on that, and I'll get back to her later. She's also planning on finding out just who, exactly, was on call for the emergency maintenance line last night. I have my cell phone records showing I called them at 10:20 pm, and that the call lasted 3 minutes,so it wasn't just a dial and dash. I left all the requisite info, asked for a callback and never got one. I think heads might roll, but given the owwie achiness right now, can't exactly feel bad about it.

after maintenance banged around, clanked around for a while, and I went back to the office to find out what was going on, I get told that it's something to do with the city waterline, nothing to do with stuff that is the property's responsibility. So, if I were to try and get any medical attention and get compensation, I'd have to go through the city of Houston, because the property management company had nothing to do with my getting hurt. Apparently the valves to the city water pipes or mains or something froze, and they believe this means there is ice somewhere in the pipes, since the valves can't be turned. At least that's what I understand. Result is it's the pipes that affect my entire building. I'm just the lucky one who discovered it first. The water to my entire building has been shut off and a rush order to the city has been placed. City came out to assess the problem. They won't be out to fix it until tomorrow though, supposedly. We shall see.

I decided to give it until tomorrow to see if the burns on the sensitive regions start to feel better. If not, since i have to go to campus for a final anyways, I'll hit the health center there and talk to the pharmacist, see what she recommends. If it's a prescription, odds are i might be able to get an emergency one written and filled without being charged a copay for a doctor's visit, but we shall see. Good news is that nothing blistered. However, given the location of the burn around my inner thighs near my vagina, it's going to get irritated anytime i move, so most likely it's going to be red and raw for a while.

I'm exhausted right now, since I didn't get much sleep, and clothing chafes. A lot. I'm going to run a bath, but let it cool for a bit before I climb in, so I can get clean. I didn't get to take a shower so I still feel kind of ucky, even more so now.

So, quick bit of background. We're not the only off campus bookstore. But the other one in existence is rather shady, and has some underhanded, just on this side of legal business practices. I know because I went into the store one day, looking for a book hoping to find it used because it was new only at my store, and even with the employee discount, it was quite pricey. I mention the class I'm taking, and they start trying to shove 4 books at me insisting I needed them because they were required for my class. I told them, no, I just need this one book, and it's "oh, no no, buy these, you have to have them your first day, your prof says so on the book request!" Mind you, said books have no relevance to the class I listed, and they still persisted despite my clarifying said class multiple times. Finally I got to the point where I told them, "Listen, sunshine, one of us here is lying. And it's not me."

Also, with their buybacks, they'll attempt to give the lowest possible amount they can get away with. One customer I helped yesterday came in and I offered $68 for his book. He said he'd been over there and they only offered $10. When the owner saw how upset he was, he haggled it up to $35, then pushed him to take it, swearing up and down he wouldn't get a better deal anywhere. So, we don't like other off campus store. It is now an established fact.

Fast forward to this morning. There is a duplex on the other side of a fence, on the south side of our property, which means it's directly to the left of us by our parking lot. Bossman comes in and he's rather upset, which is unusual, because he's the most mellow, laid back, easygoing boss I've ever worked with. Turns out other bookstore had set up a table on that other property, advertising textbook buybacks directly next to us. They put signs up everywhere and were trying to divert our customers to their table.

Ok, fine, they want to be competitive. Not much we can do. It's a private property next to us, technically residential duplex, but the owner gave her permission to use the property and chose not to charge them anything. Owner is a little old lady, who's looking to rent out the first level of the duplex, and try to turn it into a cozy little bookshop. Bossman says he's sure, and knows it in his bones, that other bookstore owner told little old lady, "Well, let me set up a buyback business there, to guage the traffic and demographics, and if we do well, I'll rent the property." All without the intention of renting said property. So, they've got their table up, and while bossman went out and took pictures, just for record purposes and to keep his regional manager up to date with what we deal with, there's not much we can do, because as far as we know, they're not technically breaking any laws.

And then the trash talking starts.

We get a string of customers coming in, who are upset because apparently the pushy little duo at the table (1 guy, 1 girl) started claiming that we weren't offering fair value on books, and that in most cases we weren't buy books at all. This makes bossman even more unhappy. He proceeds to call other bookstore owner, and tells him that while he respects competition, their practices are just underhanded and not right. And by the way, his employees are parked in OUR lot. So, move the cars, or get towed.

I told bossman slowly but surely, I'd bring him to the darkside. Looks like I was right because that's completely something I'd do!

Bossman calls our property manager, and gets permission to inform anyone parking in our lot to do business with the other bookstore table they would have to move, as they were not, in fact, our customers. Failure to do so would result in towing, as our lot is for customer parking only. During this, several of us brainstormed with bossman and came up with another alternate plan. Other bookstore employees were toeing really close to the line, waving their signs juuust on the side of our driveway to be considered not our property. So, we made a sign of our own, which read "The College Store We Pay More!" Our sign also pointed out that we had free games for extra cash, free fresh popcorn and free candy, plus coupons with chances to double your buyback cash. Much better than a stingy little card table out in the cold.

We sent one of our employees out with a bucket of candy, and he stood juuuust on the other side of the driveway, to still be on our property, and waved his sign around, whenever they other bookstore people did. And whenever someone stopped at the table, he loudly announced without ever moving closer, how much better our prices were, and all of the freebies. Oh yeah. Evil is FUN. So, we're approaching bookstore throwdown, and the competition is fierce. Everyone is actually starting to enjoy it, because we know we have them beat in every manner. Prices, incentives, customer service, etc.

I take my lunch break, and walk up to the local fast food joint because i forgot my lunch at home. On the way back, pushy girl from the other store's duo plants herself in the middle of the sidewalk in front of me. If I walk one way, I shove her partner into the street. If I walk the other way, I knock over her table. so I stop, and she moves in to strike. We have the following conversation, during which I speak nothing but 100% truth.

Her: Are you selling your books?!
Me: Not to you.
Her: Why not?
Me: Because you offer $10 for a book they *pointing to my store* offer close to $70 for.
Her: Oh, well if you get proof, we'll match the price and beat it!
Me: No. I've been to your store. You cheat people. Goodbye now!

I start walking, and she has no choice but to move or get plowed down. On the way to the store, I stop to talk to my CW, make sure he's holding up in the cold all right and see if he needs anything. He then informs me of how he got another customer to come into our store to sell his books, and after the games, coupons and whatnot, he ended up with $150. Pushy girl called him over, demanding to know how much he got, and when she was told, started claiming she SO would have given more, like $180 at least! CW managed to call over, still without moving from his spot, "Yeah, how can you guarantee that without ever seeing which books he was selling?"

CW also said that he was giving the candy away to whomever walked past him and pushy girl snapped at him "Those aren't students!!" CW just stares at her and shrugs, responding with, "Yeah. And...?"

I relay what happened to bossman. He's really getting steamed with how aggressive they're getting apparently, according to another CW driving back from break, they're trying to divert cars pulling in to park near them, without even knowing if they're sellign books back. (Not sure how that worked, exactly, never got details...) So, I go start on a project bossman had for me. I head to his office a few minutes later, and hear him on the phone with someone, and the following comes out of his mouth:

"...they are conducting business in front of a residence. I just want to know if that's legal to do without a permit?"

A few minutes later, after listening to whatever he was told, he asks, "And how, exactly is that enforceable, and is there anything I can do to see it's enforced?"

Apparently bossman called the City department on them now!

Unfortunately, they packed up shortly after, we think because it was too cold for them. However, after I clocked out and was wandering around, looking for my water bottle I lost, I see an official looking guy in a jacket with a badge. The back of his jacket says something like "regulatory department" or "Regulatory commission" or something like that. See, apparently, there was an anonymous complaint about us, that we weren't legally operating as a store, so he came out to see our sales tax permit, license to sell, whathaveyou. Gee, wonder how THAT happened!

Now, I'm wandering past bossman's office, still hunting for my water, and I get called in. Regulatory rep man is standing in there, and I'm told to explain my experience coming back from lunch. He has bossman email him the pictures taken that morning, and seemed REALLY interested in the fact that some of their signs were posted not on the private property, but on the large grassy median that separates the road into the opposite sides. He also said that to conduct buybacks on said property, Other bookstore owner needed to have a special permit. it's called an itinerant vendor permit, I think. And fun little factoid. If Mr. Bookstore owner does have said permit (very unlikely) and it's his name on said permit he MUST be present 100% of the time. If Mr. Bookstore owner sends bookstore minions, that's a nono. and if mr bookstore owner IS present, but has to pee, the entire operation must be shut down whilst he's in the can.

Regulatory commission man gave bossman his personal cell number, asking if he thought they'd come back. We think yes, because it's not likely to be as cold tomorrow. he says if they do come back call him. he finds this very interesting, and he guarantees they will not want to ever come back to that property again once he's done with them. This was the most excitement we've seen at our store for a long time. When we're not being robbed that is. I kind of wish they do come back because I wanna see them get pwned. But, I'm evil like that.

THE END!

I have to post this and get it out of my system before I turn in for the night. This is how my day went...

I get to work this morning, and bosslady tells me the back room is smelling kind of ripe, and that the fridge probably needs to get cleaned out, and the break area needs a good once over. I say ok, sure I can do that. Standard store rules state that fridge is cleaned once a week on Fridays, supposedly (I don't work Fridays, so I couldn't say for sure.) I knew the freezer needed a scrubbing because someone had an icee explode in there, but figured it'd be an easy job. I get to the back room and the smell. Dear gods, the smell. something was indeed rancid. Bosslady said someone probably just didn't get a chance to clear out the fridge and take out the trash because it was Black Friday this last weekend. Ok, I grab a couple trash bags and prepare to dive in.

First thing I discovered was the trashcan. Yes, there was a bag in the can. Upon removal of said bag, I discovered a layer of black slime, evidence that many someones had broken a rule to NOT dump garbage in a can without a bag, and left the resultant mess to rot and fester, until it became the aforementioned slime.

I gathered from that first moment that perhaps this was going to take longer than we had originally thought. I head back to the other back room we have, which has the cabinet of cleaning supplies. I first grab the box of gloves we keep for handling outdoor trashcans and the occasional spill around the coolers to avoid getting sticky. I then grab a jumbo size roll of paper towels, and large canister of Clorox wipes and the bottle of concentrated Formula 409. (we dilute it into spray bottles with water for cleaning purposes.)

I head back into the break room and scrap most of the solid bits out of the slime in the bottom of the trash can, and discover chicken bones. CHICKEN BONES. Bosslady ordered fried chicken yesterday to go with tailgating food brought to us by groups of people who were there for the last home football game of the season. This is evidence that this crap was going on YESTERDAY! Gaaah. Once the solid chunks are dealt with, I open the bottle of 409 and pour a layer of the concentrated solution into the bottom of the barrel and push it aside to soak.

then it's time to tackle the fridge and freezer. Gods help me. I open the refrigerator and proceed to start throwing things away. Oh look, pizza we ordered during homecoming weekend. (October 24th!). A small tub of what I believe started life as an avocado based dip, now a congealed brown mass with lumps. I think I just saw one move! A little to go cup of ranch dressing that solidified. Over here is a foil wrapped object, I'm not going to question what it is, I just know it's squishy and may start leaking at any moment. Moving on to the top shelf I find take out fried rice. It's black. Oh joy. And in the veggie bins I find hard boiled eggs. Eureka! The main source of the stench because they are now JELLY. The door of the fridge contains beverages and cups of fluids I'm not sure I want to contemplate on the age. Moving on the the freezer. Oh, big sigh of relief!! It's just some frozen candy canes and the exploded slushie goo. Easy enough, just need to grab the candy canes and pull them out and--they're stuck. Oh, ew!! Someone started licking this one then stuck it in the freezer. It's cemented to the bottom! Gaaaaah!!

After getting all the miscellany out of the fridge and freezer and unplugging the unit, now the fun part comes: Scrubbing. This took far longer than I thought because there were unidentifiable bits of viscous goo all over the place. Sticky, viscous GOO.

Sweet farkin' fruit loops, I think that puddle started life as a Red Bull... Buh!!

I go through a lot of Clorox wipes, but eventually, success! One veggie bin is clean!! One more bin, the door shelves and the main refrigerator floor left to go! I think I'm going to need more Clorox wipes, but wait! Can't get those because I have a line at the textbook counter, of people wanting to sell back books. Fabulous. Bosslady can't be bothered, and I'm the only other one in the store with access and authority to do so. Swell, a 15 minute break from scrubbing goo. I thoroughly soak the fridge with (diluted this time) 409 and let it soak in while I tend to this task.

Ok, back at the fridge. The 409 has made an impression, yay! But it's turned the thick viscous goo into a thinner, runnier viscous goo. Not so yay, though things do tend to move much more quickly, and the scrubbing is a bit easier on my hands, I may not, in fact, develop carpal tunnel through scrubbing the fridge out.

It takes a good 45 minutes before the fridge is cleaned, but that fucker sparkled! And, onto the freezer. It's a smaller portion of the unit, so it should take less time, right?

Damn, my optimism escaped for a second there, lemme fix that...

Yes, scrubbing slurpee goo off the bottom of a freezer? Not a quick, or simple task. Easiest way is to wrap a wipe around a pen, and then hack it to bits. Said pen was quickly disposed of once it's task was completed. So, another 30 minutes gone scrubbing the freezer out. That fucker sparkled, too! Shut the doors, and realize the outside needs scrubbing because my brainless farkwits of CWs managed to spill crap down the door, too! Sonofa--!!

Ok, I'm calm. Fridge and freezer done, the worst is over, right? I just need to wipe out the microwave and the table it's on, wipe down the black shelf above the microwave and wipe down the table, with is festooned with chicken grease and chicken crispy bits because my CWs can't even be bothered to wipe the table clear of crumbs! Then I can tackle the trashcan and sweep the floor.

I decide it's best to start with the shelf above the microwave. I hop on the stepladder, grab a Clorox wipe and start wiping. Hmm, odd. There seems to be a white spot here. Shoddy paint job, maybe? But no, there's another. And another. And--Holy fucking hell, this entire shelf is supposed to be WHITE!! Fuck me, what is this black shit!?!?! Ok, breathe, it's ok, you're wearing gloves. Just wipe it all down, and it's good as new!! Just ignore that creepy crawly sensation on your arms now, all's well!!

Probably best to just wipe down the table the microwave's on and clean out the microwave. I open it up and remove the revolving plate, and wipe that down with wet paper towels. Then I go to stick my head in and wipe down the inside real quick.

The horrors. There had to have been YEARS of food caked on the roof of the microwave. And the back wall! Oh gods, I can't believe I cooked food in there!! I'm so glad most of my meals don't require nuking!! I may never nuke again!! This is going to take creative scrubbing too. Now, where'd I put that pen...?

It takes another good 45 minutes to chip off food gunk, and scrub down the microwave. that fucker didn't sparkle. It is incapable of sparkling ever again because despite clearing out the caked on food, it left stains that cannot be removed. Poor, nonsparkling microwave...but at least it's safe to nuke in again.

Almost done! Yay! Now, to tackle the floor. A quick sweep, and life should be--hey, what's that? Oh, it's another, smaller trash can! Another, smaller trash can that has also been used without a bag inside. Oh look...more decomposing black slime... >.<

Cue the 409 once more into this can, and I start sweeping the floor. I'm finding all sorts of interesting tidbits, including the restaurant size bottle of seasoning salt. Still not sure where THAT came from, but it got thrown away for good measure. Ok, a good wipedown of the table to clean off chicken crumbs and grease, and all that's left are those godsdamned, slime filled trashcans.

Joy...

I go to the big one, because it's been soaking the longest. I'm so damn glad I had those gloves! It took almost half a roll of paper towels to clean off the bottom and deslime it. Once that task was accomplished, then more (undiluted) 409 was spritzed all over and the can was scrubbed, inside and out. Once clean, it was then doused with Lysol and left to dry.

Lather, rinse, repeat for the second, smaller trash can.

My fingers are really starting to hurt from the scrubbing. Cue CW paging me to do another buyback. All well and good, Lysol needs time to dry, after all. So, I wander out and good gods! Dude, I don't know what's going on, but you smell worse than those rancid eggs! And why in the HELL are you trying to sell me magazines from the early 90s!?! You just--and they're--gaaaaaah!!!

Ahem. After tending to that customer, it's just a matter of taking out the monstrous bag filled it biohazardous waster (i.e. all the leftovers) out to the dumpster, and placing clean bags into the trash cans. Success! I'm done! I'm so proud of myself! I go straight to the bathroom and scrub my hands and arms up to the elbows!

Total time it's supposed to take to clean out the break area? 30-40 minutes. Final time it took me today? 4 HOURS. 4. FUCKING. HOURS.

Yes, I know, I should have refused to do anything, but at the same time, if I didn't do it, no one else would have, and since I take my breaks back there, I have a stake in not contracting some debilitating or deadly disease from back there. Plus, for once they had the proper protective gear, so I was able to glove up, and there was even a little mask for me, and hair cover, if I wanted it.

Bosslady says she's going to talk with Bossman, who is in charge of the store, and swears up and down the cleaning will now be enforced. Sure, I'll believe THAT when I see it. but seriously, it HAS to change. There's NO reason for it to get THAT bad, especially if, as most claim, they clean up after themselves.

I immediately come home afterwards, and take a boiling hot shower, then eat dinner. Then decide I need to soak in a scalding hot bath later. I think I'm finally feeling clean. Thank fuck for that.

Fucking slobs...if this is how they live all the time, it's a miracle we're not all dead...

And now, bedtime.